Say My Name

I was born both blessed and cursed with a very different, apparently VERY hard to spell name, even though my first and last name contain just 11 letters combined. I can always tell when someone's about to read my name off the list, because there's a long pause between the name they just read and their utter butchering of mine. Their foreheads crinkle and they get that look on their face like they're being confronted with an advanced physics equation or something.

But, after all these years, having a cool name is pretty rad. No one mistakes you for another person with the same first name (except for when I was in Hebrew school), and ... well... that's the main cool thing. For some reason, this inspired me to blog about labels that skipped cutesy, obvious and/or eponymous nomenclature and landed on something truly unique, even if it makes little sense. Oh yeah, and these would all make great band names.

Ok, here goes:

Cheap Monday
($65, Bluebee.com)
These super skinny Swedish jeans, which I quite like, say "I just got home from Misshapes and BOY are my nostrils tired!" Much is being made of the price point on these pants: $65 for most of their jeans. But it's not nearly as intriguing as the fact that it's got some Christian groups all up in arms over the line's seemingly satanic logo. Apparently the label's founder did go out of his way to create an edgy yet affordable line that also represents his anti-church sentiments. Um... okay. It's just jeans, y'all! It's just fashion! Relax! But for real, the skinny cut is great (especially in black), and they're all handmade and unwashed, which keeps the cost down. Yay.

Team Manwhore
($80 USD, zoovillage.com)
I truly doubt an explanation of why this name is so awesome is necessary. No word on whether or not Brad Pitt actually owns this label.

Wooden Mustache
(Woodenmustache.com)
I totes love this piece and GUARANTEE it would look hot with skinny jeans and boots. And, you're probably totes well aware that plaid is way way back, as fellow fashion blogger Daddy Likey carefully illustrates without using the "Mad For Plaid!" cliche. Also, not even in my most drunken dreams could I conceive of such a fun name as Wooden Mustache. Hooray for this L.A.-based team, I say!


Panda Snack
($79, Azaleaonline.com)
Even better than this lovely, more fem take on the Henley is the label's name, which is hilarious, and reminds me of the very fun band Snack Truck. Can't you just tell even from the picture that this top is softer than a baby's bum?

Morphine Generation and Sweet & Toxic
($79, Morphine Generation, Revolve Clothing)Excellent use of purple!

($46, Sweet & Toxic, Revolve Clothing)

Both hoodies are VERY My Chemical Romance (or "MCR," as we say in "The Biz")!

We Dream In Colour
($38, Wedreamincolour.com)
While American-born-Trinidad-raised-Aussie-livin' designer Jade Gedeon makes bright, brilliant pieces out of Shrinky Dinks, she pulls it off well enough to not make her work seem too cutesy or overly retro. What I'm saying is, it looks like jewelry for jewelry's sake, not jewelry for the sake of repurposing '80s toys. And she'll custom-design stuff with whatevs you want written on it! Best!

Nature Vs. Future
($150, Mightyflirt.com)
I've been a fan of Brooklyn's Nature Vs. Future ever since I discovered it at the Market in Soho a few years ago. I love the linear construction. It's very June Cleaver Goes to Space.

Obesity And Speed

While Obesity and Speed are two elements that don't usually go together, I like SOME of what they're doing here, such as the superhoodie above. I DON'T love their spiderwebby shawls though. They're way too Kate Hudsony. Get this stuff at Barney's or in Japan -- whichever you happen to visit first.

Heavy Rotation
($77, Azaleaonline.com)
The name is NO Wooden Mustache, but I like the hoodie and the price nevertheless.

She-Bible
($70, Sodafine.com)
Busty ladies, STEER CLEAR of this cuteness (I know it hurts!) lest you emerge from your apartment looking like a human pup tent. Still, huzzah to She-Bible for subverting the dominant paradigm of the religious patriarch (you too, Cheap Monday!) AND the average sweatshirt.cute

Honorable Mentions:
Butterfly Dropout -- Didn't get a winning spot because it sounded too much like an emo band and looked too much like something Paris Hilton would wear.
Duckmilk
Imitation of Christ and Young Fabulous and Broke did not make the list due to their ubiquity.

fin.

UPDATE: Edited due to the fact that I misspelled just about every other word of the intro. That's what 4 cups of coffee will do to you. (If you're me.)