JAMIE LYNN SPEARS PREGNANT! (Plus, Some Cute Leather Booties)

(Photo via TMZ.com)

HOLY FUCKING FEDERLINE! Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. (Story at TMZ.com). You know, I step into the grocery store for a few Tuesday night needs, I walk out, and the last bastion of Spears family hope has a mini bun in the oven. (And please note, I already know I'm going to hell, so to ensure that I get there safely, I'm gonna continue blogging about a 16-year-old's illegitimate pregnancy.)

Okay, so seriously... WHAT THE FUCK? Are condoms not available in other parts of the country? And it's funny, right now I'm reading "Middlesex" by Jeffrey Eugenides, and I JUST read the part about how sometimes the English language isn't powerful enough to contain emotion or sentiment. Um, HELLO! TRUER! THAN! EVER! Because is there even a word for levels of schadenfreude this fucking epic? If not, someone ought to invent one.

Also, do you think this was like... some kind of intentional attack by the Winehouse Fielder-Civil camp to deflect attention away from Amy's arrest? Do you think they're even capable of plotting, let alone standing up straight?

Ok. I'm off to enjoy the inevitable media feeding frenzy.


Oh yeah, these boots are hot:

($69, Spiegel.com)