REGRETSY! Finally, A Site For Etsy's Most Regrettable Submissions

For YEARS I've marveled at some of the most absolutely SHITEOUS and absolutely baffling submissions on Etsy that make ABSOLUTELY no sense and appear to fill no niche or need.

FINALLY, someone brilliant and ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL has answered that call and fulfilled the need. Please, check out Regretsy. I haven't laughed that hard since Rose, Blanche, Dorothy and Sophia showed up naked to dinner at the nudists colony.

Even Regretsy's tagline had me LOLing so hard I was gasping for air: "Handmade? It looks like you made it with your feet."

Special attention must be paid to the Michael Jackson baseball -- "I would have thought a great gift to keep Michael alive might have been a defibrillator. But I’m not a doctor. Other than that, this makes perfect sense. Because whenever I hear “Michael Jackson”, I immediately think “baseball”. Well technically, I think “Little League”, but you know what I’m saying."

+ Sarah Palin Christmas tree ornament -- "Look out, Santa, our Christmas tree is going rogue this year! What better way to celebrate the birth of baby Jesus than with an ornament commemorating America’s wolf-hunting sweetheart? Will giving your loved ones this ornament keep you away from the death panels? You betcha!"

+ Seashell Cowrie Shell Seahorse -- "This is the best use of shells and library paste since I had the linguine at the Olive Garden."

+ And, of course, the Vulva Portrait Pendant Charms -- "If I’m going to spend that much time online talking to a stranger about my pussy, I better be playing with myself."