Adventures In Weird Handbags

Really, there just aren't enough handbags named after deadmau5. I kid you not, this is called the Matt & Nat Deadmau5 Stellar Convertible Clutch.

($93.50, Mat and Nat, Endless.com)

Or lacquered wooden minaudieres shaped like butler dogs. Named Jeeves.

($139.15, Timmy Woods, Endless.com)

Two Pairs Of Shoes By Which I Cannot Abide

I consider myself a fairly tolerant, accepting person. However there are a few things I cannot abide by. One of those things? These Cindy Says Keegan heels...

($142, Cindy Says, Endless.com)

I mean, they're platforms. Covered in pony hair. And feathers. And studs. And some kind of gem thing. They have whipstitching. And they lace up. And they have a fabric welt. The only thing they don't have is even the most remote shred of decency. And don't even get me started on the tan and orange version.


Hard to say which is more offensive. They both have their own separate list of bullet pointed atrocities.

Meanwhile, these Doc Martens for Opening Ceremony Darcie boots?...

($300, Doc Martens, Opening Ceremony)

True, I DO have the black version of these Darcie Docs. And I LOVE these gold flocked Docs. But while I do LOVE animal print, this is proof that animal print can be used for both good AND evil. There's just something '70s-in-the-bad-way about the print. It looks like a fabric batik wall hanging that my mom mounted on a hula hoop and hung on the wall of our basement rec room back in 1982. True story.

+ On a related note: Hello Kitty Doc Martens

I Can Has Hasbeen Candy-Colored Boots?

(Apprx $397 USD, Hasbeen, Swedishhasbeens.com)

Um, WHAT could be sweeter than lace-up leather boots the color of candy dots? I want Hasbeens (a resurrected '70s staple) in EVERY color. INCLUDING, but not limited to... beige:

($339, Hasbeens, Endless.com)

And Endless has a sick selection of Hasbeens. Love this camel-colored boot.

This Buckle-Covered Ellington Leather Bag Is The Business

Buckles on boots? Well, sure! But BUCKLES ON A BAG? WHY is this not happening MORE often than like the go-round of Hayley's Comet? I mean, this buckle-covered leather bag by Ellington is really, truly the biznass.

($249, Ellington, Ellingtonhandbags.com)

Also, is it not the handbag version of the Giuseppe Zanotti for Balmain multi buckle boot?

And hey! This does too! ;)

($197, Guess, Endless.com)

I Heart These Kate Spade Heart Heels

($325, Kate Spade, Endless.com)

Even though they're Kate Spade... Can't have it all. HOW fun would these be peeking out from under a wedding dress, hmmm? (Much like Cat had her Melissa x Vivienne Westwood heart heels peeking out from beneath her super-fun wedding dress!)

Binge Obsession: Botkier Kyra Pump

Ohhh Botkier cracked gold "Kyra" pump. How I've been craving you for a fortnight! I love the style, cut, and the gold hardware on the toe.

($195, Botkier, Endless)

Metallics done RIGHT, people!

FashionBinge's MAJOR Ankle Boot Binge!

What with fuggo flip-flops and whatnot entering store windows for the summer season (even though I've been wearing my sleeping-bag-with-arms super-duper warm coat for the past week), it is time to STOCK UP on cute ankle boots or booties or whatever you want to call them to wear with skinny jeans, leggings, tights and skirts, or whatevs. Cheyck up on all of these great booties on SALE!

($148, Free People)

Don't LOVE the bow, but I don't hate it. Since it's monotone, it's still conspicuous enough.

($164, Jeffrey Campbell, Nordstrom)

Normally I'd say these are too too much, what with the cut-outs and the studs, but in black I think they work. I'd do it.

($200, Casadei, Footcandyshoes.com)

Everyone always freaks out over Louboutin, but PLEASE give Casadei some love, okay? They were all over the red carpet at the Oscars. They're usually three times as much, but these are just $200. Woot!

($135, Shane And Shawn, Endless.com)

These are KINDA bad but could work on the right girl... or guy.

($135, Helle Comfort, Zappos.com)

Kinda wack but they could be gorgeous on. And they've even got the word "comfort" built right in!

($184, Claudia Ciuti, Nordstrom)

Not a HUGE fan of open-toed shoes, but I do like these.

($152, Diesel, Yoox.com)

I have absolutely no use for a pair of white booties, but if I did need a pair, I'd get these.

($49, Newport News)

MADONNA PARTY!

($68, Arden B.)

Sorta springy.

($412, Casadei, Endless)

Two-tone patent leather, and suede on the vamp! Studs and metallics, blah blah, these are a few of my favorite things!! All at once! On ONE shoe! Woo!

Five Fall FashionBinge-Approved Handbags ... Of Varying Economic Accessibility

Five bags I'd like to carry this fall, though not all at the same time.

($45, New Balance, Endless.com)

Perf gym bag, love the retro wine color. AND it's part of New Balance's Lace Up for the Cure collection -- 15% of wholesale sales from the Lace Up for the Cure benefit Susan G. Komen for the Cure foundation.

($48, DAV, JBandMe.com)

Super swank-looking weekend bag on a shoestring budget. Like Coach on Payless pursestrings!

(Anavaa Kisasa)

UPDATE: It's $285.00! I don't know how much this fantastic bowler is, because it ain't got no price! (Therefore free?) But you can get it at Anavaa Kisasa in Brooklyn, or even call, if you're so inclined!

($599, Lust4Luxe)

Picture it: Handwoven Italian leather, highlighted by real-deal gold hardware, designed with a subtle nod to those mucho elegante doctors' bags of the 1950s and '60s. And it even lights up inside! No, I'm not telling tales here. Yes, it's $600, but you're a smart little investor aren't you? And isn't all the money in foreign markets these days?

($700, Boyy)

So, how I feel about this Boyy bag and the Lust4Luxe Isis bag is probably best expressed by the Sarah Silverman stand-up bit below. I should warn you, it's EXTREMELY NSFW, and also offensive if you're a vegan.