TRAINSPOTTING! These Are The (Bizarrely Dressed) People In Your Neighborhood

I stepped onto the train yesterday, and every other person was miraculously and bizarrely dressed like an extra in a student art film.


I don't get it. This girl was absolutely adorable -- she looked like a more pixie-esque Natalie Portman. So WTF is up with this assault of color blocks, geometrical patterns and NEON tights!??! If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say she was on her way to American Apparel. For more tights, of course.


Speaking of hazardous...
Look, it's really fucking cold out. I get that. You can't hate on wanting to stay warm. And I too have a super-warm comfy jacket, and when the temperature drops below a certain level, I could almost care less that I look like a walking sleeping bag. BUT, mine is NOT in a color you could see from space, and this thing was more like an king-sized comforter, and it was in that shiny, wet-look breed of polyester. She looked like a giant orange shiny parking cone. For SHAME!



This isn't a morts. It's just a LOL. AND IT'S TRUE! It's in the dressing room at the Park Slope Beacon's Closet, where I got an awesome sweater that I'm too lazy to photograph.

It's Not Easy Being Green

I spotted this woman a few months back in the train station. She was wearing not one, not two but THREE DIFFERENT shades of green. All at the same time. And topped off the monstrosity with an orange bag, like a human ode to peas and carrots. She had her bags packed -- ostensibly heading back to her home planet? One can only hope.