10 Jumpers Under $100!

Hey guess what. I FREAKING HATE hot weather.

What I'm trying to say is, check out 10 really cute jumpers that flatter lots of body types (also, can I just say, I HATE the term "bodycon." It's dumb. Please stop saying it) AND cost less than $100! Also, why do they call them jumpers? Playsuits? Whatever. I just wanna spend all of the days between now and October laying around in airconditioning and wishing I lived in John Ritter's apartment in Three's Company.

($93.78, Totem, Asos.com)

L-L-L-Love the lips!

($31.26, Asos.com)

HORSES? On a JUMPER? Could America GET any better?

($44.99, Modcloth.com)

I am thisclose to buying this.

($69.99, Modcloth.com)

One of my favey things about jumpers: they're thisclose to being pajamas.

($97, Fluxus, Pinkmascara.com)

This one would be so cute with a tiny tank underneath. A tank of YOUR CHOOSING! You can just DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!

($98, Gestuz, Asos.com)

Your garden variety harem-style jumper. No big whoop.

($20, Postlapsaria.com)

So it's technically a dress, but whatevs. It's late.

($39, Lulus)

Fun! Picnicky!

($69, Sass & Bide, Shopbop.com)

Mmmm. Love me some elastic waistband!

($88, Lark & Wolff by Steven Alan, Urban Outfitters)

The sorta-fancy, dress-up-for-work yachting jumper. For your business meetings. On a boat.

Night night!

Spring Fling: Dress Obsessed

Soooooo many cute spring dresses, so little money. But for those of you who still have yet to receive your Bush bucks, check out these fun frocks you REALLY won't want to get ketchup on this Memorial Day:

($196, Oasis, Asos)

So fun, so flattering, so many footwear options.

($518, Zimmermann, Shopbop)

I blogged about Zimmermann's fantastic bathing suits last month, and it turns out their apparel rules too. Love the grommets on the bust, and the fun '60s print keeps the whole thing from looking ho-ish.

($395, Julie Haus, Activeendeavors.com)

This I wouldn't personally wear, but I know it'd be cute on many of you. I like the fun Neapolitan colors.

($495, Sass & Bide, Net-a-porter)

Refined Neapolitan modness.

($198, Yumi Kim, WinkNYC)

A perfect cute, non-hippie sundress.

($204, Jenny Han, Shopintuition)

Designer Jenny Han created this piece, which has some sweet cutesy French maid action you don't usually associate with spring, but why not? Plus, 20% of the proceeds go to the Young Survival Coalition, a nonprofit network of breast cancer survivors and supporters dedicated to helping young women diagnosed with breast cancer. (Jenny Han's own VP of Sales was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 30 -- eek -- so go get yourself checked!) It's available at Intuition in July.

($154, Rhys Dwfen, ActiveEndeavors)

Irresistible and elegant.

($1495, Lela Rose, Bergdorf Goodman)

This has a very Hepburn-esque sweetness. Not so sweet? The price. Boo.

($414, Crispin and Basilio, ActiveEndeavors)

Another pretty persimmon, but way cheaper and far sexier.

($99, Karta, Shopintuition)

Speaking of Intuition, I'm pretty sure this would be gorge against darker skin or freckly complexions.

($350, 3.1 Phillip Lim, Net-a-porter)

... And I'm pretty sure this would be cute on me.

($384, Anna Sui, Net-a-porter)

Sweet '70s-ness.

($518, Thread Social, Shopbop)

Not immediately spring-y, but its short silkyness = nice and light.

($94, Grey Ant, RevolveClothing.com)

You can still look hot while drinking ghetto beer-lemonade punch at a sticky rooftop party. (Ahhh memories!)

Tripping On Acid (-Washed Jeans)

Y'all, true-confessions time: I don't do any illegal drugs. Nothing. Not even the wizard. Nothing against it, really. I'm not like str8 edge or anything. I just don't enjoy it. And I hate the smell of "drugs." I really do. As a teenager, I worked too hard on accepting my nose to put up anything up it or risk ruining it at this point. And I'd rather spend money on designer finishing powder than the other kinda designer powder. Plus, growing up, I was "that kid" who totally believed that after, like, merely GLANCING at trace residue of any narcotic, I'd pull a Helen Hunt like in the infamous made-for-TV-movie Desperate Lives, where she flies out a third-story window, Superman styley, after like a milligram of PCP. And now I'm pretty much "that adult." And my drug of choice is carbs.

Anyway, to my knowledge, I have never ingested acid or any other hallucinogenic drug (except for Sparks). But right now I question whether or not I am currently tripping my face off, because I just bought a pair of acid-washed jeans:

($68, Lux, Urban Oufitters)

I am not positive what I will wear with them, but I will make it my mission to wear them thoughtfully and tastefully, with honor and integrity, to cherish and respect them all my days (can you tell I've been to two weddings so far this month?) Seriously, the intent is here is not to dress up like a one-woman '80s parade, but to perhaps wear them in lieu of skinny black jeans, with a nice solid, neutral-colored Tee, perhaps. Or with a wine-colored Tee. With some nude heels. See? A nice mix of the greatest hits of yesterday and today!

I'm sure some of you out there are recoiling in horror, but fuck that. They're gonna rule. We'll see. You'll see! Whatever, HATERS! (God. This must be how Kanye feels!... Funny side note: my dad calls him "Conway.")

More acid-washed jeans:

($69, Furst Premium Denim, LF Stores)

Earlier this month, in my obsessive cigarette jeans post, I blogged about how these acid-washed Furst Premium Denim 1820s at LF were trying to holla at me, but at $174, I was not about to hollar back. Well, thanks to the magic of SMS, I received a a text from MK on Saturday informing me that LF is having their one-and-only sale of the year (seriously, how do you just have ONE sale??), and everything in the joint is 60% off.

MK does not lie. Anyway, I tried them on in a size 29, which must be more like a size 4/6, (I'm about an 8/10) because it was Sausage City. So, no go, bro. A chick who works there told me that the 1820s are Furst's slimmest/ skinniest cut, and she also weren't telling a lie. I think the 30s would've even been too tight. So, that's when I harnessed the power of the Innernets and found those Urban acid-washed. Done! But yeah, if you're an 8 or under, check out those deals on Fursts at LF. They're almost all sold out at the Court Street locay, but it looks like they're in stock online.

($77, Sass & Bide, Bluefly)

These are a Lucky Shops exclusive. I'm not sure what that has to do with Bluefly, but I'm pretty sure I tried on a pair of Sass & Bide jeans at the Lucky Shops event, and they ruled. I sorta really want these. They're a nice mix of acid-wash and grey, without too much of the former. And a great price for Sass & Bide.

($265, Casette, MadisonLosAngeles.com)
These are fairly hot but also fairly 'speners.


($330, Grey Ant, Tobi.com)

Brown acid = the sophisticated PhD. to your master's-level black acid-wash.


Also, back on the LF sale tip, I swooped down on those Jeffrey Campbell ombre heels:
Were: $120.
Got 'em for: $48. I don't think they're online (boo), but there were a few pairs at the court Street LF.

While I was there, I also picked up:

($15.20, Adia Kibur, LFStores.com)

I'd been <3-ing these for a while in black. Then they went on sale and I opted for the bottom bronzey brown ones instead.

Five Fashionable Wide-Legged Jeans

K, y'all. Five cuters wide-legged/ trouser cut/ slouchy jeans, for fall, kay y'all? Y'all ready, y'all?

($122, J & Company, DJPremium.com)

They're a little low, but I like the tight-in-the-butt, slightly-flared-but-not-too-much-so trouser cut.

($198, Sass & Bide, RevolveClothing.com)

So, these are technically more bootcut, but they're still a cute dressy-jean staple, though WAY too short for these heels.

($220, William Rast, DJPremium.com)

Much as I LOATHE Justin Trousersnake (Ugh! That smarmy shit-eating grin he's always wearing!), I do really like William Rast jeans, despite myself. Though I will say, I do have a pair that only fit like, when I wore them in the dressing room and never stretched and I can barely squeeze into them. Bew. I take back what I said.

($198, Hudson, WinkNYC.com)

These look so deliciously comfy!! Perfect for slooooouuuuuccchy, chill weekend wear, with flats, 'natch.

($34.50, Paris Blues, Alloy.com)

I posted these a few weeks back, and I bought 'em, and GUESS WHAT -- they're fucking ADORABLE. They're a little darker than they appear here. Anyway, they're so comfy and cute. They're still at the tailor though getting taken up because, of course, they're too long, but for $34, who cares? The verdict: TOTES RECOMMENDED!



.... psst:
PS:

($90, Sass & Bide, DJPremium.com)

Um, I really like Sass & Bide, but these are just awful and totally remind me of the type of jeans John Goodman wore as TV's Dan Connor on "Roseanne." And what girl wants to wear jeans (especially designer ones) that elicit such horbs associations? Terrible.

Broke & Skinny

You may not be rich, but at least you can LOOK skinny with the aid of skinny jeans, right ladies? I mean, HELLOOOO! Priorities! Live fast and fuck dieting: just suck it in and charge these slimifying pants! Wee!

Pooooor Posh. If only she were A LITTLE thinner, she could totally be my thinspiration. But, until she sheds at least 15 pounds (at LEAST!), she'll have to remain a heifer. I do love her jeans though. They're by Superfine:

($287, Superfine, Brownsfashion.com)

($260, Superfine, Net-a-porter.com)

A nice winter wash!

($108, Citizens Of Humanity, Net-a-porter.com)

LOVE these. They'd look so cute with some black boots and a purple and black flannel.

($235, Sass & Bide, Net-a-porter.com)

Perfection.

($226, Judi Rosen, Shopbop.com)

I know I've said that I'm basically anti colored jeans, but I will defend my hypocrisy by saying the following: these aren't some ridiculous color usually reserved for ice cream or emergency vehicles. Blue is a NATURALLY OCCURRING shade of denim. And these are adorable.

($321, Twenty8Twelve, Asos.com)

No, Sienna Miller really doesn't need the $300 or whatever percentage of each sale she receives. But these are HAWT.

Beautiful Pieces For Beautiful Fall

YAAAAY! It's FINALLY FUCKING FALL! My favoritest time of the year both weather- and fashion-wise! Here are some beautiful deep, rich, dark fall-colory pieces for one to dream about and potentially buy.

($44, Lian Carlo, Vintageamore.com)

I'm not sure how a purveyor of otherwise super-fugz bridal gowns and eveningwear could create such a thing of Abaete-esque beauty, but they done did it. Unfortunately this is only avaible, from Vintageamore.com, at least, in size 6.

($465, Tufi Duek, Nordstrom)

Dude. DUDE. Dude. Tufi Duek is a god among mortals.

($420, Sass & Bide, Standardstyle.com)

Sass & Bide are NOT far behind. I'd wear this thing every day of the week if I had to.

($302, Madison Marcus, Shopintuition.com)

This looks a lot like that blue dress Jessica Simpson's been running around in, though I like this one better.

($205, Development, Madisonlosangeles.com)

Ooooh so perf with a thin black cardi!

($297, 12th Street By Cynthia Vincent, Bluefly)

Casual yet posh staple!

($94, Oh Deer! Nordstrom)

OMG. Check out the obscenely cute sequin detailing. I think I'm slowly warming to T-straps.

($88, Anne Klein, Amazon)

Pure fall jewel-toned beauty!

($59, Style & Co, Macys)

Very nice...

($128, Michael Kors, Nordstrom)
But not as nice as these. LOVE!



($68, Shopsueyboutique.com)

Yes, I know it's a BLATANT Marc Jacobs knockoff, but I sorta almost don't care because I love the Deco hardware so much.

($48, French Connection)
Sheer fall beauty time! All in one bag!