Das Bootie

It's becoming clear that we can no longer ignore the curious trend of ankle boots, especially when the cuteness factor getting pretty high, and double especially when my partner, Ms. Lohan, and I just discovered today that we recently purchased the EXACT same pair (read on to find out which!). It's just that I'm confused: what in the name of all that is holy does one wear with them, besides a miniskirt? Pants is just a waste, and I guess you'd have to really find the exact right dress (any suggestions?). So I guess with fall coming up, I guess it's skirts and tights, baby, tights and skirts. I can live with that. For those about to rock the ankle boots, I present: booties and the beasts (sorry).



Hey, what's that sound? I think it's a bootie call! Well, helllllooo, little red-hot slouchy leather number with a tiny kitten heel! Where you from? Bakers? Does that even exist in New York anymore? I dunno, but I might just drop the 90 bones it'll take to get these suckers, which also come in a bunch of other (more boring) colors.



Bakers also has this nice foldover platform bootie for $129.95. Plus has the added bonus of fulfilling your fashion-given need to have stuff that is gray this fall. Looks uncomfortable, though. To be worn only if your bootie is lounge-bound, I'd say.



Bakers rips off Tara Subkoff. Not really feelin' on these booties but every bootie is different. Some girls like a big, fat, bow-tied bootie. $89.95 for a piece a' that.



If you gave me $455 for a pair of these round-toe suede booties, by Tara Subkoff, in red or trendy gray or, really, any color, I'd totally shake-shake-shake, shake-shake-shake, shake my bootie for you. While mooning you. With the boots on. And let you put the vid up on youtube. Oh yeah. My paypal address is cat at catherinespita dot com. See if I won't!



If you like the round-toe thing (and I kind of think it's almost mandatory for ankle boots, for some reason), here's a more affordable option: These NaNa suede booties with somewhat odd piping, $113.95.



I have another rule about ankle boots, which has remained unexpressed, till now: No oxford-ish versions, and definitely no lace-ups. Schoolgirlish and ugly and horrible. The exception that proves the rule: This additional Tara Subkoff bootie, on sale for $247.50. Somehow, she just makes it work. The bulbousness of the heel is disturbing me, though. It's like the shoe thinks you'll be constantly bending your knees in athletic-squat fashion. What are you thinking, pretty shoe?



Meanwhile, this purple Dolce Vita bootie, $157.95, thinks it's riding on the back of hog, the wind in its hair, cool as all hellfire. Which reminds me of a t-shirt I saw this weekend upstate at a Harley/Red Cross benefit. The gentleman's chest read (and forgive me, I'm paraphrasing): "Some like the wind in their hair. Others can't get enough of the open road. Me, I just like the BOOBS IN MY BACK." (Emphasis t-shirt's. I sorta got a kick out of that for some reason.

Okay, the suspense is over. With apologies to Blowfly, here's what caused both of your humble fashion bingers to get on the bootie bus:



They are by Payless. Yes, that is how we roll. $24.99, bitches. I showed these to my boyfriend and he pronounced them "elfin" after an amused pause. I thought they might be a bit too Williamsburg and/or boring. Plus, I already have a pair of elfin leather flat boots, but it seems like those wanted to be ankle boots the whole time. So I purchased them. Thank you Payless!



A more squared-off version can be had almost equally as cheaply at Delia's. $39. Has anyone ever bought shoes at Delia's though? I have not. In fact, I don't know if I've ever ordered anything through a non-Web catalog. True fact. But these look like a good "basic" bootie, if you will.



Back to awesome, and not merely acceptable, shoes. Slouchy asymmetrical bootie, R183.95, by some brand called Report. The leather looks weirdly shiny, but I guess that's what "free shipping both ways" is for.



Love the lines on these Kenzie "tulip" round-toe wedge booties, $113.95.



And the detailing on these Moschino Cheap & Chics. Yep, I'd tap that. If I had $495.



Now we're moving into questionable territory. Could these possibly be used as rain boots, or are they just too out-there? Whatchoo think? I kinda think they're funky. Palladium patent-leather velcro booties, $114.95.



And what about these Merona surfer-inspired "elf" boots lined in fleece? Great in cold weather, no? I think they are totally cute, but not sure I'd think that when they're in my closet waiting to be worn. And really not sure they're worth $119.99.



We have rules for a reason. Urban Outfitters loses its mind, $150.



Baci tapestry boot, $78.95. Not bootylicious at all.



Bakers gets it tragically wrong, $79.95.



Recently Ms. Lohan noted that she "usually likes Irregular Choice." Interesting statement, considering these monstrosities. Irregular Choice buttoned booties, $127.95.



They also made these red white and blue snowflake knit things. To see all of their craziness, click here.

And that's all the bootie beauty this beholder can stand. Are YOU on the bootie bus?