How Do You Solve a Problem Like Mara?

Okay. Normally I totes just SWOOOOOON over Mara Hoffman's classic yet contemporary girlie but not too girlie dresses in vintage wallpapery patterns -- as Shiny Squirrel so succinctly blogged. BUT.

What. The. Frock is up with this????


Seriously!?? Does this not totes resemble that creepy Elvira/ Morts-ticia Addams ho-ey burial sheath that Angelina wore to the 2000 Oscars when she sucked face with her brother and tried to Jurassic Park-style consume him with her big, scary velociraptor
mouth?
(Ew. They totes made out later that nite!)

Next...

($74, planetfunk.com)
This is cute.

($158, Joe's Jeans, couturecandy.com)
This is definitely not. Ew. Can't you just see Cameron Diaz wearing these with some off-the-shoulder black top to the Kids Choice Awards or whatever and posing on the red carpet with a "Tee hee! I'm kooky!" look with her mouth way open? I know I can.