Being Heidi Montag

The fantastically funny Fug Girls squeezed themselves, regrettably, into Hills star Heidi Montag's new line, Heidiwood. Better them than us, I say. But better yet, better no one, as the F.G.s discovered. Hills-larity, of course, ensued.

My fave part:
"One of us wore black short-shorts with a one-inch inseam (half a thumb, for real) and a zebra-striped tank with a faux-chiffon back bow; the other, a white-denim, butt-cleavage-b

aring skirt with a backless teal top that's baggy in the bust and tight at the gut — perfect if you haven't eaten pasta in ten years and have ginormous implants (sound familiar?). The stuff was the complete opposite of flattering. We looked like rejects from Rock of Love II with Bret Michaels; stick us on the hood of a car and Whitesnake would've appeared, guitars in hand."

Read it and weep at The Cut.