Brian Atwood's Supercharge Snakeskin Bootie Is The Lady Gaga Of Footwear

Lady Gaga's sunburst hair hat... situation thing...

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Constant use of aggressive, touch-me textures...

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Violent-looking red crown... situation thingy...

=

($1100, Brian Atwood, Elysewalker.com)

Brian Atwood's bonkers spiky, textural snakeskin booties, with elastic cut-outs. R0mah! Ooh la la!

Brian Atwood Atrocity

I usually really like Brian Atwood heels (and will admit to ALMOST ALWAYS thinking of RYAN Atwood from The O.C. [RIP]), but these are both EVERY color too many and every shade of wrong:

(Apprx $574 USD, Brian Atwood, Net-a-porter.com)

I'm counting the SECONDS until they show up on Mariah Carey's feet.

Sad panda.

Birthday Binge! Part I

Kay, so Tuesday was my birthday, y'all! And no, I'm not yet 30. So, here's just the beginning of my birthday binge, which is unfortunately just a fantasy binge.

Today's binge is SHOES:

($275, Goka, Pieces)
Snakeskin? Stunning.



($403, Fendi, Neiman Marcus)
Definitely willing to break the ankle strap rule for these. Wood + Lucite = shoe"gasm." And check out the heel detailing:
Gahflkdajfl;dksjafl;!!!


($855, Louis Vuitton, eLuxury)
Both the heel and the price are a wee bit steep, and true, they're a bit Beyonce, but they're beauts nonetheless.


($210, Dolce Vita, Zappos)
Maybe a bit Mary J. Blige, but also awesome and a steal.



($98, Zinc, Zappos)
Oddly appealing. Very Tapestry-era Carole King. Sorta almost makes me wanna wear a turtleneck in a weird way.


($189, Nike, Pickyourshoes.com)
Satisfies my inner Pharrell.


($63, Maria Bonita Extra, Shopbop)
Now that I'm getting "older," I can justify wearing wacky shit like orange patent flats!


($445, Brian Atwood, Neiman Marcus)
... And slutty heels in Grandma colors! Yay! Aging rules!