AVERT YOUR EYES: Versace Block Color Python Bag

I believe it was either Pete Seeger or King Solomon in the epic romantic thriller, Ecclesiastes, who said "there is a time to color block and a time to refrain from blocking color." Clearly Versace did not heed that advice. I present to you... this nasty shit:

Look, I LOVE "a lot," but this is just way too much of a lot. Get it at Net-a-porter.com. If you are a crazy person. (Via Purseblog.com)

Spring Shoes: Trend Mash-Up

In which I've taken a few of my favorite Spring 2008 shoes that combine one or more of the upcoming trends and details and consolidated them into one one hearty post, with more to come. Stilettos in heights that defy good sense, textured metallic accents, peep toes and lush patents. Wee!

($411, Christian Louboutin, Net-a-porter.com)

Mmm. Creamy grey patents! With a wider heel! The mirrored heels and unusal batwing peaks make these even more murder-inspiring.

($730, Christian Louboutin, Net-a-porter.com)

I'm not sure what is "mini" about the Christian Louboutin Mini Bout Zeppa pumps, but they're perfectly, well, perfect.

($670, Versace, eLuxury.com)

Bold and razor-sharp in silvery gunmetal, more refined in bronze.

($449, Petra Rubino, Forzieri.com)

I'm personally not the ankle-tie type, but I applaud the woman who can pull off these interesting Oxfords. The color combo here rules.

(Apprx $530 USD, Gwendolyn Carrie)

Black + gold = chocolate and peanut butter.

($130, Vince Camuto, Piperlime.com)

It is time for me to officially declare: I think I love everything Vince Camuto does.

($330, Chie Mahara, Saks)

Total granny chic, updated in blood red = loves.

(Apprx $58 USD, Topshop.com)

Allllllegedly we're gonna be seeing a lot of ikat patterns now-ish. And I welcome these red ikat pumps by Topshop with open arms and an open wallet. Now HURRY UP AND OPEN IN NEW YORK!

Global-Warming-Induced Seasonal Ambiguity = Jacket Attack

Inches MATTER, people! And I'm not talking about the fleshy kind. I'm talking Weather Channel. Where's the snow, yo? Anyway, since I've woken up excited to find piles of the white stuff (not THAT kind of white stuff) outside my window and have pulled back the curtain to instead find dry sidewalk or general wetness (wow, the innuendos are totally unintentional, I swear), let's take a look at some lighter jackets -- trench coats and the like -- some of which are ridiculous, shall we?

($1,970, Chloe, Net-a-porter.com)

One of the fun things about brightly colored rain slickers is that they're bright and they're colored. One of the less fun things about them is that often, when they're vinyl or satin, they look like graduation gowns, church choir robes or those things you wear at the hair salon. A not-fun thing about this one is that it's $1,970. Oh well.

($2,740, Versace, Saks)

Here's another one where it's like, okay, great idea, IN THEORY. Or... I could buy a wedding dress. Or three.

($1,658, Yves Saint Laurent, Neiman Marcus)

Extra-large leopard print is another example of things that should be left to theory and not practice.

($595, Diane Von Furstenberg, Net-a-porter.com)

As compared to the jackets above, $595's a freaking steal. I'm normally not really into the idea of beige trenches -- yes, they're a total wardrobe staple as anyone with a modicum of fashion sense will remind you, but, a.) beige is so.... beige; b.) they get dirty really easily. That said, I might bend for this because while the color's sorta expected, the cut is nice and edgy -- yay for the asymmetrical buttons and big front pockets.

($58, Delias)

Again, beige = sorta boring sometimes, but this is a fun variation. I like it in their grass-green version, but then again, I had a green duster/ trench, and I got really sick of it, so I guess I'm a hypocrite.

($27, Forever21.com)

I saw this in grey at the store, and while I was attracted to it from afar, I was dubious up close, because it sorta felt like weird, gauzy post-consumer-recyclable material that they make shopping bags out of and that you're glad exists for the Earth's sake, but you'd never really want to wear. It felt like something you'd wear to go white-water rafting, not that I ever would. But it's got sort of a fun retro feel.

($370, Distilled)

Refinery29 did a little piece on the Distilled's flak jacket, and while it's green (though olive here) AND for dudes, I think it'd do quite nicely for ladies, if the fit's right.

($79, Avenue)

I'm not personally into florals much, but this gardenia trench is really darling, and florals ARE back this spring.

($78, Flying Tomato, Styleviolet.com)

So cute! So cheap! So yours!

($265, APC, Creaturesofcomfort.com)

APC's putting it down, I'm picking it up.

Versace Mens Fashion Show 2008