Black Sunday Holiday Sale At Newport News

Believe it nons, Newport News (the store, not necessarily the city, though I'm sure you could probably find some stuff in the city too), has some cute holiday stuff on sale. Use promo code 538 for 25% through midnight, December 1.

($34, Newport News)

Such purdy suede. How do you not LOVE the combo of grey, black, and red? You DON'T not love it!

($19, Newport News)

A cute little leopard print clutch to hide all of your holiday cheer!

($29, Newport News)

An eensy little Chanel knockoff! God bless us everyone!

($10, Newport News)

Come on, how fun would this look with a black strapless sweetheart dress like so?

($15, Newport News)

Black teardrop earrings = holiday staple!

($14.99, Newport News)

Weep! Like Thanksgiving threw up all over an innocent bag!

Chloe Alligator Envelope Clutch -- WTF?

($1418, Chloe, Asos.com)

Origami + leather = expensive disaster. Is this an accessory or some modernist furniture? Fail.

Wickity Wickity Wicker

($34, Urban Outfitters)

Sure, carrying a clutch in grab-and-go NYC is about as smart as leaving a $50 bill on the doorstep of your urban apartment building and hoping to find it later (we once had a ladder stolen out of our front yard in broad daylight, I repeat, A LADDER!!) or your car running, unattended, while you run inside to go to the bathroom -- you're just asking for it to be taken. Still, this wicker clutch is so summer-chill, it might as well come with its own wrap-around porch and a glass of lemonade.

High Rollin' On Hump Day (Translation: Expensive Stuff)

All of the following items have the following in common:

1.) They're gorgeous.
2.) I want them all.
3a.) They're all $169 and up.
3b.) In my world, things $169 and up qualify as "expensive."

Let's take a looksee, shall we? In declining order of dearness, meaning the closer you get to the bottom, the greater your chances become of being able to afford stuff (if you're me).

($895, Anya Hindmarch, Vivre.com)

DEFINITELY not a plastic bag.

($390, Celestina, Vivre.com)

Beautiful, timeless, worth doing some "creative refinancing" on the monthly budget for... almost maybe.

($385, Jill Stuart, Shopbop.com)

So sweet, and more subdued than your typical red-and-black cherries fare.

($365, MZ Wallace)

Gorgeous everyday bag. Love it in orange too.

($363, Alexis, ActiveEndeavors.com)

And you, faux croc ombre envelope clutch -- I covet you most of all.

($216, Maria Bonita Extra, ActiveEndeavors.com)
Possibly the greatest ballet flats/ skimmers/ whatever ever.

($169, Prairie New York, CoutureCandy.com)

I'm starting to feel a bit "meh" bout jeweled embellishments at this point (but not 100%), though this is supes cutes. But don't click the "indigo" version if you're easily offended!

Marc Jacobs Hast Lost His Skinny Little Mind

I know he's had himself some trouble with the white stuff, but did the party powder leave him with Swiss cheese brain? Observe:


($995, Marc Jacobs, Barneys)
These are the best of the worst. Still, there is no instance imaginable that would make these acceptable.



($398, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Zappos Couture)
I give it a month before Jessica Simpson's photographed walking out of The Ivy in these. (Note: that does NOT make them right!)



($385, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Shopbop.com)
Or in these.


($185, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Bergorf Goodman)
Dude. Seriously. Come on. Seriously? Dude! This is some Payless shit!


($228, Marc By Marc Jacobs, eLuxury)
Honestly??


($873, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Zappos Couture)
Sigh. Real bad news. Where to even begin? These look like something I would've seen in like 1988 at like, Wild Pair at the mall and BEGGED my mom to get me so I could wear 'em do the Roger Rabbit in 'em at the middle school mixer. At least that memory isn't even real -- it's just a figment of a made-up memory and not a real one, unlike the actual memories of those who currently own these and will wear them and then sadly look back one day, 17 years from now, in horror. Regret's a bitch!


At least I would not regret owning this:
($1,650, Marc Jacobs, eLuxury.com)

Cute Clutches

If the pollen count is high this spring, then so is the unbelievable amount of irresistibly cute clutches swirling around in my brain. Woah. That was like the worst mixed metaphor ever. It was just plain awful. Anyway. Clutches rule, if only just in theory, since clutches + walking around in, say, Midtown Manhattan = mugging magnet. But for all you ladies who drive and can RUN from the parking lot to your destination, whiteknuckling your clutch like a football, these are for you. Soooo many effing cute clutches, in ascending order of affordability.



($4.29, Asos.com)
Love the envelope style and I LOVE the snap closure.



($5.97, Torrid.com)
How cute would this be with a flirty solid colored dress, hm? Or adorbs A-line skirt and denim jacket or the like? Or jacket with '80s poofy sleeves, if it's the Cyndi Lauper look you're after? Ahh I'm awash in endless possibilities!



($6.49, Target)
Exaggerated old-school snap fixture! LOVES! And it's in several other choice colors.



($9, FredFlare.com)
This should come with a defibrillator to bring you back after going into acute cuteness shock.



($9.74, ModCloth.com)
This really is such an ideal lil guy right here. And check out the other delish bold colors it comes in too. Oh, and the lovies at ModCloth hooked y'all up with an especial Fashion Binge coupon code: Enter "binge10" for 10% off any order. (Membership has its privileges!)



(Approx $9.81 USD, DorothyPerkins.co.uk)
Just TRY not to love the buckle clutch. Oh, and check out the rest of the cute clutches Dorothy Perkins has.



($10.79, ModCloth.com)
I'm not the BIGGEST polka dot fan, but for those of you who can deal, here's this.



($14.98, Torrid.com)
Yes. I know pink glitter is ridiculous. Don't like it? You can leave the way you came in!



($15, LulusFashionLounge.com)
Great shape, and it's named "Purple Rain." What's not to love?



($32, Little Odd Forest, Forestprints.com)
So. much crafty cuteness without too much DIY-ness.



($51.95, Melie Bianco, Zappos)
I sorta shamefully love this in that way that you're not supposed to be attracted to frat boys but sometimes secretly are. I like the preppy Bass Weejun/ Sperry Topsider/ Duck image this classic clutch conveys. Well done, Melie Bianco!



($80, m. andonia, Fredla.com)
Is this too Frida Kahlo? Regardless, I like.



($90, Bambina di Cioccolato, StarsandInfiniteDarkness.com)
Lovely color combos. The black and white one is very Chanel. Without the two extra digits at the front of the price tag.



($100, Bambina di Cioccolato, StarsandInfiniteDarkness.com)
I'm generally not a fan of the ring wristlet, but these are some fantastic colors. You NEED an olive clutch.



($116.06, Charles David, Zappos)
More of that "Preppy Handbook" style to which I'm apparently latently attracted.



($160.88, Blush, Asos.com)
I know this isn't technically a clutch, but it came up in my search for clutches, so that kinda counts. I have no idea why I'm attracted to a $160-wallet with an abstract depiction of a unicorn on it, but, well, here it is.



($218, Kate Spade, Zappos)
No, I haven't lost my mind. I have a bizarre affinity for lobsters. And I love this. And I love the "Heddy" cosmetic bag version too.



($201, Whiting & Davis, Zappos)
Finally, here's one of the ugliest items I've seen in hours. Look! It's a ... shiny, iridescent lump of shit! With a porthole! For old ladies!


P.S:

($48, Juicy Couture, Nordstrom.com)
As lame as Juicy Couture can often be, this headphone charm is precious.


Ok, bye!