Finally, Striped Pants I Feel Okay About

($298, Tory Burch, ToryBurch.com)

Usually I react to the thought of striped pants the same way I do when I see young children drop something onto the floor of the subway and then put it into their mouths before their parents have a chance to catch them. That is to say... the very notion makes me ill at ease. I don't care how tall, thin, smart, or good at math  you are. Striped pants will make you look like a clown. The rare exceptions are rockers from the late '60s and early '70s. If the characters from the movie "Almost Famous" were your fictitious analog, chances are you were able to get away with striped pants. BUT, here's where I contradict myself! Because I ACTUALLY found a pair of striped pants that don't make me want to cry myself to sleep.

They're the Tory Burch Irene pant, and somehow they work! As Whitney Houston says at the beginning of "So Emotional," "I don't know why I like it. I just do!"

Oh, and speaking of Tory Burch, shell out $29 and get this Japan Relief t-shirt. One hundred percent of the proceeds go to the American Red Cross to aid in the relief efforts in Japan.

($29, Tory Burch, ToryBurch.com)

L.A.M.B. Tweed Harem Pants = Oof.

Surely tweed button-up harem pants would look amazing on Gwen Stefani... And that's it.

($275, L.A.M.B., Shopbop)

Love Gwen, love L.A.M.B., but tweed and harem pants are a classic example of "never the two shall meet." And also "just because you can doesn't mean you should."

I think Ruscha said it best when he said ...

Word.

Wish List: Rachel Roy Transformer Zip Jacket

($159, Rachel Roy)

Let's discuss this precious little convertible Rachel Roy jacket, shall we? First of all, the fun animal print makes me believe that a giraffe and leopard mated. Second, it's like the Matryoshka doll of jackets. Why a Matryoshka doll? Because, like the doll, this jacket's got a top part and a bottom part. The bottom zips away to reveal some cropped jacket cuteness, which means it's TWO PERFECTLY GOOD JACKETS in one! And I love a two-for-one deal. As in "more than meets the eye," as in Transformers. And who can resist a good Transformer reference? Not I.

I do have to use this opportunity, by the way, to air a small grievance: I'm super dismayed that the pants the model is wearing above are NOT available for purchase! Don't put it on the menu if I can't order it!

($89, Rachel Roy)

Who's afraid of a metallic pant? Not this girl.