Finally, Striped Pants I Feel Okay About

($298, Tory Burch, ToryBurch.com)

Usually I react to the thought of striped pants the same way I do when I see young children drop something onto the floor of the subway and then put it into their mouths before their parents have a chance to catch them. That is to say... the very notion makes me ill at ease. I don't care how tall, thin, smart, or good at math  you are. Striped pants will make you look like a clown. The rare exceptions are rockers from the late '60s and early '70s. If the characters from the movie "Almost Famous" were your fictitious analog, chances are you were able to get away with striped pants. BUT, here's where I contradict myself! Because I ACTUALLY found a pair of striped pants that don't make me want to cry myself to sleep.

They're the Tory Burch Irene pant, and somehow they work! As Whitney Houston says at the beginning of "So Emotional," "I don't know why I like it. I just do!"

Oh, and speaking of Tory Burch, shell out $29 and get this Japan Relief t-shirt. One hundred percent of the proceeds go to the American Red Cross to aid in the relief efforts in Japan.

($29, Tory Burch, ToryBurch.com)

Fantasy Shopping: Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale

I've been shopping like a FIEND lately. Must. stop. shopping. And so today I'm just fantasy shopping, hoping that'll satisfy the urge. Here's what I put in my cart whilst shopping the Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale, where stuff is 40 percent off and seemingly going fast (anyone wanna actually buy it for me?!):


Robert Rodriguez lace overlay skirt, $144.90. So hot!


Leifsdottir "Ink" dress, $169.90.


Alexander Wang leather-trim sweatshirt, $354.


Theory "Kessie - Critique" pants, $139.90.



Eileen Fisher "Earth Conscious" double-wrap belt, $57.90.



Steve Madden "Serious" sandal, $39.90.



Tory Burch "Robbe" top, $129.



Free People two-tone strapless dress, $39.90.



Frye "Mary" sandal, $78.90.

Amount saved: $1075.40! PHEW!

FashionBinge Forced Retirement: The Tory Burch Reva Ballet Flat

Yes, the Tory Burch "Reva" ballet flat is cute, but so is Abigail Breslin, but you don't see me hanging out with her. That's why I have to take issue with iVillage for putting them on their "Still In For Spring" list. Conversely, they're on my own personal "First to Go" list. Enough is enough! They're overly specific to last spring, and they're making me yawn.

Let's step it up with some new flats, shall "we"?

($375, Tashkent By Cheyenne, Piperlime.com)

The gold buckle and square toe are simply sublime, and the neutral tan make this an excellent (yet expensive) winter-to-spring transitional shoe.

($155, Corso Como, Piperlime.com)

Um, okay. I was just about write that these sassy yet simple shoes are the Dorothy Zbornak of awesome flats, and THEN I saw that these are called "Dotty," thus confirming my long-held suspicions that I am a FUCKING GIRL GENIUS.

($235, Repetto, Creatures of Comfort)

Not so me, but I could see MKHo pulling these off with much "aplomb." And speaking of black ballet flats -- throughout much of last fall, I wore a pair of subtle black patent quilted ballet flats that I got at like Rainbow or something (no joke) for under a twenty. I wore them with everything, and quite well, if I must say. Unfortunately they started to smell like a pile of fragrant garbage, so I had to trash them, but they're such an easy go-to that I may have to replace them:

($22, Torrid)

Simple, sweet, and so cheap! Thanks, Torrid!

($11.49, Target)

No, thank YOU, Targz!

($49, Steve Madden)

See? Behold: a simple, stylish flat, unadorned by now-ubiquitous tack, which is more than I can say for...

(Via iVillage, unfortunately)

A crime -- and fate -- worse than Crocs, my friends.

Giraffes & Guns & Colorblocks, Oh My!

Many more things that I want, and a few I definitely don't.


($395, Tory Burch, Shoptwigs.com)
Soooo fun. Sooo out of my price range.



($90, Toss Designs, Yknotshop.com)
Cheaper, but less cute. If any of you savvy shoppers come across any under-$100 giraffe bags, holla at a Jew.



($298, AKA New York, ActiveEndeavors.com)
Sigh. Just another reason to love AKA New York. And those wider straps -- yay! Conceals necessary bra straps! I love this so much that I started singing "Colorblock, colorblock" to the tune of "Lollipop." I'm an idiot.



(Apprx $293 USD, Marc By Marc Jacobs, LuisaViaRoma.com)
This is terrible. The colors rule, but the pilgrim-esque tie and ruffle sleeves are a total shanda.



(Apprx $1,222 USD, Clare Tough, LuisaViaRoma.com)
But of course, not as much of a fashion fuck-up as this. There are just no words...



(Apprx $289 USD, See By Chloe, LuisaViaRoma.com)
What Would Mischa Barton Do? Probably wear this. Doesn't mean you need to make the same mistake too.



($131, Nicole Miller, Bluefly)
Yeowch. Bad news bears. That lime green is blinding. These colors are best left to boys' swim trunks. Did Baby Spice not wear this in that one Spice Girls video where they were hooking around in the desert??



($147, Nicole Miller, Bluefly)
MUCH better, Nicole. This looks like a great year-round piece.



($88, Max & Cleo, Dillards)
I actually like this, for some reason, though I think it'd look better on you darker-skinned laydays.



($120, Donna Morgan, Dillards)
This actually looks like it'd be super flattering. Yay!



(Apprx $407 USD, Marc By Marc Jacobs, LuisaViaRoma.com)
I sorta like these. Someone, please, knock 'em off soon! (Lookin' in your direction, Forever 21!)



($600, Campise, RonHerman.com)
I Heart That reported that Lindsay Lohan likes this. So do I. Now, Lindsay also probably likes licking cocaine off the back of a dirty toilet in the Lower East Side. That's where our similarities end. But, despite the tragedy at Tech (eek! I found this beforehand, I swear!), I do enjoy this necklace. And lucky you, turns out I made one like that MONTHS ago:

($24, TotesTamron.etsy.com)
Look at me, saving YOU $576!!