This Alexander Wang Stud Print Dress Is Making Me Sad

($968.78, Alexander Wang, Brownsfashion)

... Sad because we'll never be together, and because the print reminds of me SO many things I hold so dearly to my heart -- studs, crossword puzzles, and online Tetris knock-off games, such as Bejeweled. Ugh. We were so meant to be together, this Alexander Wang dress and me.

Great. Now I have that Jewel song stuck in my head.

Jewel - New Music - More Music Videos

Balenciaga Studded Gladiators

($706, Balenciaga, Brownsfashion.com)

Sure, there are many tran-tacular aspects to these rainbow-studded Balenciaga cut-out heels, but the reality of the situation is that I'd still hit it.

Lux Lust: 3.1 Phillip Lim Animal Print Skirt

This 3.1 Phillip Lim purple and gold lurex mini skirt is so hot that it's kinda giving me a Pat Benatar-meets-Pat Field boner right now. AND it's even got pockets! Style schwing!

($365, 3.1 Phillip Lim, Brownsfashion.com)

Two Things You Can Feel Free To Buy Me: Embroidered Chloe Bag, Lanvin Heels, 'Kay?

Are you feeling charitable? Did you perhaps steal tons of money from your place of business and are looking for a place to get rid of it?? Yes? Good then! Because I'm in the market for the following:

($490, Lanvin, Browns)

You'll sleep better knowing that:
a.) They're on sale
b.) I'll look smashing in them!
and c.) They're real real real!

($2064, Chloe, Browns)

We'll all sleep better at night knowing that I'm fashionably satisfied by this black leather Chloe bag with an embroidered base. And you? You'll be all comfy in your plush bed knowing you done a good good thing!

(Inquiries? Interested? Yah? Email me!)

MASH-ing Shoes: Nicholas Kirkwood Vs. Topshop

Remember that game MASH, where you could live in a mansion, apartment, shanty or house? These amazing, Bowie-esque (or Barbie and the Rockers, depending on your vantage point) criss-cross heels by British designer Nicholas Kirkwood are amazing, but at almost $537 USD, they're definitely not bear-market friendly. ($537, Nicholas Kirkwood, Brownsfashion.com)

Totally for mansion dwellers.


Unlike these Topshop heels:

(Apprx $119 USD, Topshop)

(Apprx $129 USD, Topshop)

For the apartment dwellers out there.

Broke & Skinny

You may not be rich, but at least you can LOOK skinny with the aid of skinny jeans, right ladies? I mean, HELLOOOO! Priorities! Live fast and fuck dieting: just suck it in and charge these slimifying pants! Wee!

Pooooor Posh. If only she were A LITTLE thinner, she could totally be my thinspiration. But, until she sheds at least 15 pounds (at LEAST!), she'll have to remain a heifer. I do love her jeans though. They're by Superfine:

($287, Superfine, Brownsfashion.com)

($260, Superfine, Net-a-porter.com)

A nice winter wash!

($108, Citizens Of Humanity, Net-a-porter.com)

LOVE these. They'd look so cute with some black boots and a purple and black flannel.

($235, Sass & Bide, Net-a-porter.com)

Perfection.

($226, Judi Rosen, Shopbop.com)

I know I've said that I'm basically anti colored jeans, but I will defend my hypocrisy by saying the following: these aren't some ridiculous color usually reserved for ice cream or emergency vehicles. Blue is a NATURALLY OCCURRING shade of denim. And these are adorable.

($321, Twenty8Twelve, Asos.com)

No, Sienna Miller really doesn't need the $300 or whatever percentage of each sale she receives. But these are HAWT.