The Highs And Very Low Lows Of Cut-Out Heels

I'm truly not the biggest fan of cut-out shoes, especially when they're not sandals; the exception, however, would be Loeffler Randall's cut-out pumps, platforms, booties, and various iterations:

($575, Loeffler Randall, Active Endeavors)

These I can basically deal with. Loeffler Randall, they seem to know what they doing!

Therefore I was glad to see these far-more-affordable knock-knock-knock-offs at Victoria's Secret:

($150, Victoria's Secret)

At those prices, it's like two Loeffler Randalls for the price of one! And I really like the grey and black onesies. They're like the Herve Leger bandage dress of shoes!

($129, Michael Kors, Amazon)

Also okay!

($775, Chloe, Intermix)

Lurves the heel detailing, but OY VA VOY, too much patent. Heidi Montag also favors these, so that'll tell you something right there:


More bad cut-out heels and shoes:

(Giuseppe Zanotti, Intermix)

More like Giuseppe Za-not-ti. OH SHIT! Like something Christina Aguilera picked up at J.Lo's garage sale. Horbs.

($925, Dior, Neiman Marcus)

These Dior heels are either tragically melded together like couture conjoined twins, or else we caught them in the act of copulation. And I didn't know shoes could have sex.

($48, Jeffrey Campbell, 6pm.com)

The exact wrong way to do animal prints. Shudder!!


Um, perhaps the less said about these horrific Pierre Hardy cut-out shoes the better.

(Apprx $120, Topshop)

It's a sandal AND a boot! Rrr... remind me why again?

(Sold out, Chloe, Saks)

That these are sold out suggests to me that there are hundreds, nay THOUSANDS of women out there with equally horbs taste. The horror!

($160, HedoFashions.com)

Thankfully there are several of these disturbing stripper shoes left in all sizes!

($47, Pleaser, Amazon)

Perhaps unsurprisingly, these are mainly available in men's sizes.

($149, John Fluevog)

Marked down from $239. Priced to move. Quickly, one would hope. Gahr.

($48, Urban Outfitters)

The paperbag as shoe! Recyclable footwear, folks!

Damn You, 'The Hills' Girls!

Like you, I am probably way too old to watch The Hills, and I'm certainly too old to relate to them. But I accept the fact that fashionwise, it's Sex and the City Lite. Unlike SATC, however, I would actually wear some of the casual-cute stuff the girls wear, and I can actually afford some of the stuff too. To be clear, I condone these pieces regardless of the fact/ despite that, not because, they've been worn by The Hills girls.

A few examples:
Damn you, Lauren Conrad! Here you are at the MTV Upfronts in a PEACOCK dress, WHEN YOU KNOW peacocks are my thing solely and exclusively!

($385, Elizabeth and James, Shopbop)

And it actually looks cuter on Lauren than this chick.




The red carpet dress Whitney Port wore to the season finale of The Hills is apparently one of her own "Eve & A" designs. There's something super glam and '80s, in like a Robert Palmer girl/ Dynasty-but-refined sort of way.

Speaking of Whitney's clothing line, here's a snap from the upcoming collection:
The 20-piece "Eve & A" collection launches this fall. And by the way, in case you were wondering, Whitney's dad is Jeff Port, who owns the apparel company Swarm, which manufactures a young men's line called Shades of Gray, so it looks like she already has some exposure to the biz.


Granted, Audrina's matriarchs never passed down to her the "no-white-bra-with-darks" rule of womanhood, nor the "thou shalt not matchy-match" rule, but I love the shoes:

($175, Kenneth Cole)

Appropriately enough, they're called "Hill Top."

($89, Kenneth Cole)

Another cute Audrina pick... again, one I like regardless of the fact that a Hills chick has toted it around to Le Deux. Actually, this is probably WAY not fance enough for Le Deux, but it is perfect for Urth Cafe, no?

($79, Torn by Ronny Kobo, Intermix)

Lauren likes this one, and it's cute, but not as cute as its striped sister:

($85, Torn by Ronny Kobo, Intermix)

Hee! Check out the snake around the anchor! And check out the designer: she's like just a few injections away from being the next Lisa Rinna.